Olivia finally turned and faced Gaetz, who studied her. He was as wily as ever, muscled but so lean that he looked malformed. “Why, Gaetz?”

  Small groans, ragged breathing, and then a louder grunt showed that the guys were waking up—were they drugged or just beaten? When Olivia looked back at them, she saw the horror they clearly felt in seeing her standing beside Gaetz. And their horror was matched by hers at seeing what her nightmare had brought into their lives.

  Olivia turned back to Gaetz. “Why? Why couldn’t you just let me go? Or why couldn’t you just be happy with screwing me years ago? I was willing, but then you…”

  Brody grunted and Olivia glanced at him, seeing his confusion. But she couldn’t deal with him just now.

  “Just take me,” Olivia pleaded. “I promise not to fight.”

  Gaetz chuckled, pulling a hunting knife from its scabbard and playing with it like it was a toy. “Yeah, you promised that before, didn’t you?”

  “I tried—I did. And I didn’t mean to do what I did. But you were so rough… you grabbed me and it was just a reaction.”

  He leaned toward her, but his feet remained planted. “That reaction required stitches on my head, and a sudden relocation on your part.” He studied her more closely. “How did you do it? Fall off the grid like that? You seriously have some skills.”

  “No, I had nothing—that’s the only way I could do it. I had nothing and no one for years, all because of you.”

  He looked smug. “Well, you’ll never have to experience that again. I have big plans for you that will involve you providing company to a variety of people, and when they don’t have a use for you, I will. You will never be alone again.”

  “Fine. Great. Just please, you don’t need to hurt them any worse than you already have. You know they aren’t part of this—the Judge tricked me and traded me to them to be their toy. I’m not with them. I’m just a thing to help them get their revenge against women in general. Really, you should be thanking them, right? You like what they did to me, the vile, disgusting things they did and made me do.”

  “I was quite impressed.”

  “So why kill them? Why make an enemy out of the Judge, when he could be an ally? He’s a nightmare, just like you. Isn’t he?”

  Gaetz assessed her coldly. “If they were so bad to you, why do you care about their fates?”

  “Me not wanting needless murder isn’t a sign of care—it’s a sign that I’m a human being. That may be unfamiliar to you, but…”

  Gaetz lunged forward and smacked her face hard. “Careful with that tone, or you might make me angry.”

  The guys protested loudly from behind their gags.

  “See,” Gaetz said. “They care for you.”

  “They’re just possessive of their toy—they don’t actually care about me. And even if they do, what better revenge could there be than to take me away from them? They will know exactly what is happening to me and will be powerless to save me.”

  Olivia held very still as Gaetz moved closer to her. The knife in his hand could kill in a second, but she couldn’t worry about that, couldn’t worry about herself. When he reached her, he raised his free hand and ran it along her face, down to her breast and then along her stomach.

  “I like the way you think. That might almost be a reason to keep them alive.”

  “Then let’s just go. Leave here and get on with whatever plans you have for me.”

  Again, the guys protested, while Gaetz mused, still running his hand across her body. “I think we have a deal.”

  “Okay, let’s go.”

  “I wasn’t finished. I will leave three of them alive to torture themselves about your terrible fate, but one of them must die. And you must choose.”

  “What?!”

  “Yes, Olivia, choose the man who will die so that the others may live. That is a proper bit of revenge upon the men who used your body without my permission.”

  Olivia shook her head, trying to take a step back.

  But Gaetz was on her, in her face, enraged, his free hand gripping her arm to keep her in place. “CHOOSE!”

  29

  Olivia tried again to free herself from Gaetz, but his hand gripped her with bruising force.

  “You will pick or I will gut them all right now.”

  “Please don’t… don’t hurt any of them.”

  Gaetz gestured with his knife toward Brody. “It isn’t them, is it? It’s him. It’s always been him, hasn’t it?”

  “What does it matter?! I left. I ran. I abandoned him and everything I knew to keep everyone safe. And now you come anyway. Just kill me and be done with it.”

  Tears streamed down Olivia’s face, watching all four men straining against the bindings that were already cutting through their flesh. They grunted and shouted behind their gags, fighting for her life.

  Olivia wished she still had that fight in her, but when she reached for it, all she grasped was hopelessness and loss. Gaetz would always come. And if not him, someone else. Happiness—that simply wasn’t part of Olivia’s story. Sure, she’d felt enough to know what it was, but it wasn’t something that would ever come again. There would always be another monster to step forward and destroy everything good that accidentally wandered into her life.

  Memories of the past few days, every experience since she’d signed the Judge’s deal, flashed through her mind. She felt only gratitude to have experienced such passion, such connection. For this small time, she hadn’t been alone.

  “Let me just say goodbye to them,” Olivia blurted.

  “Do that—it will be fun to watch—and then give me the name of the man who will die.”

  Olivia turned toward Evan, as his chair was the closest, but she walked to Brody first. She kissed his cheek and whispered into his ear, “I love you… I’ve always loved you.”

  He strained and said over the gag, “I love you, Livie. Please… I love you.”

  Olivia touched his shoulder lightly as she moved to Isaak. “You’ll be okay, Isaak. You don’t need to get lost in the darkness anymore.” She kissed his cheek, and then moved to Sean. “Don’t let this add to your anger. You still have a lot of work to do, and you can do it. Just be careful with the people in your life. And don’t give up.”

  Sean’s body trembled as he fought to tell her something, but his words were too muffled to understand. But she saw in his eyes an awareness that Brody and Isaak hadn’t reached. Sean knew what she was going to do, but he was powerless to stop her.

  Olivia kissed his cheek and whispered, “Goodbye.”

  Letting out a ragged breath, Olivia turned toward Evan and walked to him and leaned down. “You know what needs to happen. You know what you need to do. Please do it, no matter what the consequences are.”

  The intensity in his eyes turned to fire.

  “I love you. I trust you.” She kissed his cheek and then turned toward Gaetz. “I’ve decided.”

  “Good, because we have places to be. Now give me his name and we’ll be done here.”

  Olivia’s breath faltered as she fought to get enough air, and then she said the only word she could possibly say when everything went wrong. “Evan.”

  * * *

  Gaetz stalked closer to Evan, with Olivia still standing close to his chair, close enough that she could feel the heat coming from his body, the adrenaline, the fury.

  “She picked you,” Gaetz said. “Why would she do that, I wonder.” Then he shrugged, dismissing the thought, and lunged toward Evan, knife raised.

  In that instant, Olivia dove in front of Evan, forcing the blade into her own body, hearing Evan’s rage take voice from behind his gag. The knife felt so hot, but for a moment, she didn’t feel the pain. But she heard the roar of sounds coming from her men.

  Gaetz still held the handle of the blade that impaled Olivia. She looked up at him, seeing his surprise and his disappointment. “Why?” he asked her, incredulous suddenly.

  As the pain began to register, Olivia moaned, struggling to draw in a breath. “Because I’d rather die for them, than spend another second near you.”

  Gaetz’s anger spiked. “Then I’m happy to watch you die.”

  He released the handle and stepped back, grinning at her. She took a step away from Evan and then another, swaying slightly. Gaetz turned with her, watching her closely.

  Olivia’s vision blurred as Gaetz stood in front of Evan, still focused entirely on her while the guys called out to her. But all the noise faded into the background, as the sound of her heart pounding swallowed all the other sounds. But still, she watched Gaetz, focusing to see the moment when Evan did exactly what she knew he would do.

  Like a bomb going off, Evan threw himself forward, rocking in the tall chair with his feet planted on the floor. He hurled himself and the sturdy chair directly at Gaetz, whose focus on Olivia was so total that he didn’t see Evan coming.

  Olivia managed to remain standing as Evan and the chair struck Gaetz, throwing him to the floor. She heard the terrible sound of his skull striking the marble, and then saw the moment the tip of the chair crushed Gaetz’s neck, ending his life in one second.

  She swayed after that and collapsed to the floor, her eyes closing on their own, as she drew in the soggy breaths of a person who didn’t have many left. But Brody, Evan, Isaak, and Sean would be okay. And, in her own way, she’d beaten Gaetz, denying him the power to affect her life ever again.

  It was a win. It was. But still, the sadness struck her where she lay, hearing the guys calling to her, telling her to hold on, urging her to fight. But her fight was spilling out onto the floor, leaving her cold but not alone.

  Loud noises erupted beyond the room, bringing her back to herself. Men’s boots on the marble sounded all around her.

  Then the Judge was there, leaning over her. “You’ll be okay, Olivia. I’m sorry I didn’t get here in time—I only just heard he was back.” The Judge looked away for a moment. “He will never hurt you again.”

  “Judge,” Olivia gasped.

  “Yes.”

  “I need something from you… before you release the guys.”

  “Anything.”

  She could barely speak, but the Judge leaned closer, even as he moved out of the way of the paramedic already beginning to work on her.

  “What do you need?” the Judge asked.

  “A fresh start… if I live. I never want to see them again.”

  Darkness filled the Judge’s eyes, but he nodded. Then he turned to the paramedic. “The helicopter is landing—get her to the hospital. I will follow soon. She is to have the best of everything.”

  The paramedic nodded and within a couple minutes, Olivia was on a helicopter flying toward doctors who would hopefully save her. But if not, at least she’d outlived Gaetz. He could never hurt her—or anyone else—ever again.

  30

  Ten Months Later

  Olivia stared out at the sea from the deck of her third-floor apartment. She let out a ragged breath, one of the last remaining effects of the injury she’d suffered. She just couldn’t breathe anymore, and it wasn’t a physical problem, or so her doctors and therapist said. No, it was the effect of trauma. No matter how far she’d run—all the way to Australia, to be specific—the tightness in her chest never left.

  Not during her month in the hospital, after requiring three surgeries to repair the damage from Gaetz’s knife. Not during her rehab and subsequent move across the ocean. Not when she went to work at a good company and started a new life. Not when she started to make friends. Not even when she’d learned to surf.

  She just couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t let down her guard. She couldn’t let go of everything that had happened. She was in the most beautiful place on Earth and still, she was just existing, not living, not thriving.

  Her therapist had all sorts of ideas about why that was, but Olivia hadn’t shared all the details of her life with the well-meaning woman. She’d told her about her childhood, the trauma, her father who was thankfully rotting in prison, and Gaetz. But Olivia didn’t tell her about Brody, Evan, Sean, or Isaak. She certainly didn’t tell her about the glorious sex or the deep connection she’d experienced with them.

  It wasn’t shame that caused her silence—she felt no shame about any of it. No, it was because she couldn’t utter their names without crumbling to pieces, without sobbing, without trembling.

  Olivia had barely cried for herself, but she could have filled buckets with the tears she’d shed for them.

  The damage to their bodies.

  The wounds.

  The looks in their eyes that mirrored her own trauma—she’d brought more trauma into their lives, when they had already known too much.

  Olivia lived in a perpetual state of hope, that they were doing well, much better than she was. She also hoped that someday they might forgive her for ruining everything. And, because of what happened to them, she’d resolved to never let anyone into her toxic little world ever again. No one could get too close—happiness wasn’t an option, not for her.

  After a few more shuddery breaths, Olivia forced herself to stand and headed down to the beach, so that she could sit and watch the ocean like she did every day.

  But along the way, she turned and walked toward a coffee shop, figuring something yummy might make the day go better—might distract from everything trapping her mind in an endless loop of loss, grief, trauma, and overwhelming loneliness.

  Two steps into the coffee shop, Olivia abruptly stopped when she saw a man standing at the counter. His back was turned, but she swore she knew that shape. She shook her head as her shoulders slumped. It certainly wasn’t the first time she thought she saw one of them. No, that was an almost daily occurrence, and every time it happened, when they turned and showed their actual and totally unfamiliar faces, she felt the grief all over again.

  Why couldn’t she stop looking for them? They were gone. She’d left them behind to give them a chance at finding some happiness, certainly some safety.

  Olivia moved into the line, trying not to pay attention to the man, but she couldn’t take her eyes off of him. He was wearing a thin long-sleeved shirt and long pants… near the beach. Then he turned directly toward her and she gasped, gripping the counter beside her. Evan was already moving toward her, telling the other people around her that she was okay, taking her hand, and leading her toward a table.

  “You are a troublesome woman, you know that?” Evan muttered as he encouraged her to sit, when he should have been encouraging her to breathe. Evan sat in the chair beside her. “Livie, just breathe. You are okay. Everyone is okay.”

  Olivia swallowed roughly, feeling the sweat breaking out on her face, the way every cell in her body wanted to run. To get away from Evan so that no one would ever hurt him again.

  “Hey,” he said softly, “it’s okay.”

  She shook her head frantically. “It’s not okay… it’ll never be okay. I almost got you killed.”

  The sorrow that filled his eyes showed how deeply he felt her pain. “Livie, that wasn’t your fault—none of this was your fault, ever.”

  “What are you doing here?” she finally blurted when her mind caught up.

  “I can’t answer that right now. You weren’t supposed to find me—I was supposed to be doing recon. Clearly, my skills are a little rusty.”

  “Recon… for what?”

  “You’ll see.”

  Panic gripped her. “You aren’t alone, are you? No… I have to go.” Olivia stood so quickly, she got dizzy all over again.

  Evan reached out, steadying her and forcefully—but not painfully—returning her to her seat. “Listen to me right now. You are going to hear us out. You owe us that much after everything that happened. We will talk and then you can decide what happens after, but you can’t just run away from us again.”

  “The Judge said…”

  “Who do you think told us where you live?”

  Olivia squinted at him. “The Judge did?! That bastard, he told me…”

  “He told you that if you moved on and had a good life, he’d keep your location secret.”

  “But I did… I have a job, a few friends…”

  “You walk alone on the beach. You surf alone. You sit on that patio and stare into the nothingness.”

  “Recon,” she whispered.

  “The Judge said you weren’t doing very well, so I came to check.”

  Tears pushed at her eyes. “You had no right.”

  He leaned closer, smelling like a dream. “I aim to show you just how wrong you are about that, but this is not the right place.”

  “Where is the right place?”

  “You need a coffee and then I’ll take you there.” He stood and gave her a pointed look. “If you run, I will be very angry.”

  “I’ll stay right here.”

  Evan turned and approached the counter, while Olivia stood and fled out the back door.

  She didn’t even know where she was going, but she meant to get there quickly. She ran flat out, down the street, across an alley, and into a park before she even slowed to take a breath. Then she turned back and saw Evan entering the park. He tilted his head, challenging her to run again.

  She didn’t, but when he moved closer to her, she shouted, “I don’t want you here!”

  “I can see that, but I think you should explain why.”

  “The summer is over. I was never supposed to see any of you ever again.”

  “Why?” he asked.

  “Summer of the porn sex toy, remember?”

  “Olivia, it stopped being about that very quickly and became something more—you know that. And that isn’t the reason you don’t want me here.”

 

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