The beekeepers war, p.10
The Beekeeper's War, page 10
Eleven
Pru
August 1917
Jack had now been away for a couple of weeks and Pru was surprised by the physical ache she felt at missing him and recalled their snatched moments together before his departure. Love really could be painful, she thought as she finished filling Private Danby’s water jug. He was still subdued, not entering into conversation with anyone, however many attempts were made, and the look of loathing she had caught him giving Monty the day before still shocked her.
She often went over her conversations with Jack. So far, they had kept to their promise to each other to be nothing more than kissing friends but Pru knew Jack was finding it as difficult as she was to keep things that way. She thought back to their last few moments together when their kisses had almost ended up with them going further, only for Jack to insist they stop.
‘We mustn’t,’ he had said, his voice husky and low. ‘Believe me, Pru, I want to more than anything, but it would be wrong for me to do so.’
She had tried and failed to hide her disappointment and frustration and thought that, as much as she missed him, maybe it would be good for them both to have a little time apart. If only he wasn’t putting his life at risk in France.
She wiped her forehead, longing for her shift to end so she could take a cool walk in the woods. There was a slight breeze outside but it was coming from the wrong direction to give them any relief inside despite the windows being open in the ward.
‘As soon as this interminable war is over,’ Jack had whispered as they’d said goodbye, kissing away her disappointment, ‘and I make it back in one piece, I promise you, Pru, we’ll be married and never have to spend another night apart from each other.’
‘Yes, Jack,’ she had agreed, wondering if he realised how his casual proposal had made her heart leap.
Jean’s gentle voice saying something to Monty in the next bed brought Pru back to the present and she crossed the ward to help a patient who was trying and failing to reach his empty glass. ‘Here,’ she said, filling it for him and placing it in his hand. ‘There you go.’
She stopped to stare out of the window. It would soon be visiting time and she wondered if Jack might be there. Her heart leapt at the thought of seeing him again.
‘When you’ve finished daydreaming, Nurse Le Cuirot,’ Matron snapped, bringing her back to the present with a jolt, ‘I want you to go and see Private Danby.’
‘Yes, of course, Matron.’
‘I’ve noticed he’s a little more restless lately and would like you to spend some time with him before visiting begins,’ Matron went on. ‘Maybe talk to him and find out about his family. I think it might help him if he were to receive a visitor so, if possible, we need to try and locate someone close to him. Then I will write to them and do my best to encourage a visit.’
‘Yes, of course, Matron.’
Pru liked it on the odd occasion when Matron let her kinder side show. It saddened her to see the young private alone during each visiting time and she wished she knew why no one bothered to come to see him but Pru had noticed his expression being strangely odd at times and it unnerved her. She hoped it was simply a fear of what might happen to him once he was well enough to be discharged, which she assumed would be in the next few months.
Apart from Private Danby, most of the patients were in good spirits. She realised that it wasn’t only personal visitors that he was missing, but also the friendship of any of the other patients.
She returned to the ward and collected the dressings she needed before going over to his bedside. ‘Would you like me to take you outside for a walk, Private?’
‘I can’t walk. You know that.’
She did. ‘I can help you with your crutches though. Or if your leg is too painful, I can bring a wheelchair for you to use.’
Out of all the patients Pru had to help, she had to admit, if only to herself, that this young man was her least favourite. The thought made her feel guilty. It wasn’t his fault he was shy, but she wished he would at least try to make friends with some of the other men instead of skulking in his bed all day. She hoped Matron would manage to track down someone he knew, and the sooner the better.
‘No. This leg is giving me a bit of gip.’ He grimaced as if to emphasise his words. ‘When do you think it’ll start to heal properly?’
She placed the utensils she’d brought onto his bedside table and drew the screen around his bed. He never liked having his dressing changed and the fact that his injury was on his thigh seemed to add to his distress.
‘Let me have a look.’ She folded back his sheet and then, handing him a hand towel to cover his modesty, she undid his pyjama bottoms and helped him move to the side so she could pull down the material. Carefully removing the dressing, Pru focused on keeping her breathing level as she bent to examine his leg. She was relieved that other medical staff and even patients were only a screen away from her and able to assist her straightaway should she need them. There was something about him she didn’t trust, although she felt unkind feeling that way, especially as he hadn’t actually done anything threatening to her.
‘It does look sore. I’ll clean it and then apply a fresh dressing. Hopefully that’ll bring you a little comfort.’
‘I hope so.’ He closed his eyes. ‘I’m tired of always being in pain.’
There were men with far worse injuries who complained far less than he always did, but maybe he had a particularly low pain threshold? She knew the medication he was on and he certainly seemed to sleep as much as any of the other patients at night.
As she cleaned his wound, Pru remembered she was supposed to be finding out personal information for Matron. ‘Do your family come from anywhere around here, Private?’
‘Why?’ he snapped in reply.
Determined not to let him unnerve her, she focused on what she was doing, relieved to have somewhere to look other than his face.
‘I just wondered, that’s all.’
‘Because no bugger bothers to come and visit me, you mean?’
She knew better than to insult his intelligence by lying. ‘I had noticed your family hadn’t been to see you yet. I wondered if there was something I could do to help. Pass on a message from you to them maybe.’
‘Don’t waste your time worrying about the likes of me. I can see you’re much happier spending time chatting to ’is lordship there.’ He cocked his head in the direction of Monty’s bed.
Pru could hear the hurt in his voice but also the anger. He clearly felt less worthy than the other patients and she wasn’t about to let anyone feel that way. ‘That’s not true at all, Private Danby, whether you like to think it is or not. Anyway, you shouldn’t speak about yourself in such a way.’
‘Why shouldn’t I?’
She looked him in the eye. ‘Because you’re as important as any other patient here.’
‘Is that right?’ he scoffed. ‘Try telling that to his lordship’s son and heir next to me.’
Pru finished applying the dressing and helped pull up his pyjama bottoms, taking the small towel from him as he did them up.
‘I’m sure Major Ashbury would be the first to disagree with you.’
‘Speaking for him now, are you?’
Pru was beginning to lose her temper. Private Danby might not have visitors but unlike Monty’s his wounds were not life-changing and she wasn’t about to let him get away with nastiness.
‘I’m not speaking for anyone; I am giving you my opinion and you may accept it or not. But, Private, you are not the worst off in this hospital and I’ll thank you to remember that fact.’
He glared at her. ‘Have you finished now, Nurse?’
She realised she had gone too far. She was supposed to be gleaning information from him, not antagonising him. ‘What do you mean?’ she asked. Was he asking if she’d finished having a go at him, or doing her duty towards him?
‘With this.’ He pointed at his leg.
‘Yes, I’ve finished.’
‘Then you can leave me in peace.’
She drew back the screen and caught Monty’s eye while her back was towards Private Danby. Monty winked at her to let her know he had heard her defending him and also, she assumed, to show he wasn’t bothered by what the private had said.
She was relieved. Seeing that Monty wasn’t fazed by what had just happened calmed her irritation slightly. It wasn’t her place to lecture patients and if Matron had heard what she said, Pru suspected she might have been given a stern telling-off.
Spotting Jean passing the door, her face pale, Pru knew instinctively that something was wrong. She heard the sound of tyres on gravel and glancing out of the nearest window, saw the postman cycling away. Bad news. She shivered.
Pru picked up the utensils and discarded dressing and left the private to his own devices. She needed to find Jean and find out what had upset her. She quickly asked one of the VADs to take the things she was holding and hurried out of the ward.
She saw her friend disappearing through a door on her way outside and ran after her. ‘Jean,’ she called when she couldn’t catch up with her friend’s fast pace. ‘Stop a moment, will you?’
Jean stopped walking but hesitated before turning to face her. Pru could see that her friend was gathering herself.
‘What’s happened?’ she asked, reaching Jean. ‘You’re crying.’ Monty was inside and Jean’s parents were at their home in Jersey, so unless one of them had been taken ill, Pru thought, it must be news of Jean’s brother causing her this pain. ‘Is it Peter?’ she asked, thinking about the handsome, quiet man who had always been fond of her.
‘He’s been shot, Pru,’ Jean said quietly before clearing her throat. ‘He’s in a Netley Hospital in Southampton.’
‘Oh, Jean.’ Pru hated to think of Peter being hurt. She knew how close the siblings were. The fact that she hadn’t reciprocated Peter’s feelings when he had taken her out a couple of times and declared his love for her had been the one time in the history of their friendship that the two women had been at odds. ‘I’m so sorry. He’s back in England though, so that’s something to be grateful for, don’t you think?’
Jean shrugged. ‘I need to know how badly hurt he is. I’m going to ask Matron for a couple of days’ compassionate leave so that I can visit him and see for myself.’
‘Good idea. I’m sure she’ll agree to let you go,’ Pru said, rubbing her friend’s arm lightly in an effort to soothe her. ‘Does the letter say where his injury is?’
‘His left shoulder.’ She held up the letter. ‘It’s from his commanding officer. Apparently, Peter wanted me to be the person contacted in case of any injury or, well, you know.’
Pru was grateful once again that her brother was too young to be conscripted. ‘Yes.’
‘I think I’ll speak to Matron right away. The sooner I visit him the sooner my mind will be put at ease.’
‘Good idea; you do that.’
Pru accompanied Jean back into the house. ‘Do you want me to come with you?’ she asked when they reached the door to Matron’s tiny office.
‘No, better not.’ Jean smiled for the first time since receiving the letter. ‘We both know how Matron will be only too happy to tell you off if she sees you here. I’ll go by myself and let you know what she says.’
‘Good luck.’
Pru raced back to the ward, shaky to think how close Peter had probably come to being killed.
‘Nurse? Can you help me please?’
Pru turned to the fear-filled voice and saw one of the newer VADs struggling with a patient who seemed intent on trying to stand.
‘No, Private, it’s far too early in your recovery for you to attempt walking unaided yet,’ Pru said, going over to calm the situation.
‘What’s wrong with Jean?’ Milly said, arriving at Pru’s side and grabbing her arm after she’d settled the private and returned to the nurses’ station. ‘I’ve just seen her going into Matron’s office in floods of tears.’
Pru explained about Peter being hurt. ‘Hopefully he isn’t too bad,’ Pru said. ‘But Jean’s pretty shaken up about it. They’re very close.’
Milly shook her head. ‘Poor Jean. I hope Matron gives her time to go and visit him.’
‘So do I.’
Pru heard voices in the corridor. ‘I think our patients’ visitors are arriving. You give the ward a quick check and I’ll go and get ready to open the door.’ She glanced up at the wall clock. ‘Two minutes.’
She left Milly straightening sheets and instructing the VADs to fill water jugs and remove trolleys and went outside into the corridor, instinctively looking over the waiting visitors’ heads to see if she could spot Jack. Disappointed not to see him there again, she forced a smile and waited patiently.
Once visiting hours officially began, Pru pushed the door back and waited for the visitors to enter the ward. The chatter and excitement as those used to the place entered cheered her slightly. There were always a few who were visiting their sons or husbands for the first time who were more subdued, but thankfully today most people – apart from Private Danby, she noticed – seemed happy enough.
A hand rested on her shoulder. ‘I was hoping you’d accompany me on a walk after your shift ends. I have something to show you.’
Hearing the familiar deep voice, Pru’s heart raced and she spun around, forgetting for a moment that she was on duty. ‘Jack!’ Her arms went to hug him but she remembered herself and lowered them, giving him a pleading look. She heard Matron’s footsteps coming down the corridor from her office and cleared her throat. ‘Captain Garland, Major Ashbury will be delighted to see you’re back with us again.’
His mouth drew back into a wide, knowing smile and he mouthed the words ‘I love you’ to her as Matron came up behind him.
‘Captain Garland,’ Matron said, stopping next to him with her hands clasped in front of the skirt of her uniform. ‘Nurse Le Cuirot is indeed right. It’s good to see you back here at Ashbury Manor again.’ She gave Pru a disapproving look. ‘Well, don’t stand there, Nurse, accompany the captain to the major’s bedside.’
‘Yes, Matron.’
They walked to the other side of the room where Monty lay waving over at Jack. ‘She’s a bit of a battleaxe, isn’t she?’ he whispered. ‘I seem to recall mentioning that I had something to show you.’
‘You did,’ Pru said, looking forward to discovering what it might be.
‘Shall I wait for you after your shift? Outside the door of the west wing?’
‘Perfect,’ she agreed, barely able to contain her delight at seeing him again. ‘I’ll be finished when visiting is over.’
‘I’ll see you then.’ He smiled at her and then, looking over at Monty, said, ‘How the devil are you keeping? I hope you haven’t been giving these poor nurses the run-around?’
She left Jack chatting to Monty and carried on with her work. Somehow the sun shone brighter and the birdsong seemed louder whenever Jack was around, she thought, fetching a chair for a patient. She smiled to herself knowing she was being fanciful but not caring. Everything seemed so much happier when he was at Ashbury. If only he didn’t have to leave again.
At the end of her shift, Pru quickly ran to her room to freshen up before joining Jack for their walk. She was aware she was slipping into dangerous territory where Jack was concerned and, as always, she knew she was going to struggle to keep a tight rein on her feelings towards him. She wanted desperately to be able to go with her emotions and make the most of every single second they had left together. Maybe Jack was wrong to insist they wait. After all, she mused, if the worst was to happen then at least she would have memories of this special time with him.
He was waiting for her as she knew he would be. As soon as she stepped outside, he took her face in his hands and kissed her. ‘I’ve been longing to see you,’ he said, taking her hand as they began walking along the worn sandstone pathway. ‘I don’t know if it’s better or worse to have to sit and watch you working, only able to pass the occasional comment to you while I’m visiting Monty.’ He gave his question some thought. ‘It’s better, obviously, because at least I’m in the same room as you.’
‘Albeit in a room with about twenty or thirty other people there at the same time.’ She laughed, clutching his arm and kissing his shoulder. ‘I’ve missed you so much.’
He bent his head and kissed her again. ‘Not nearly as much as I’ve missed kissing you and holding you in my arms.’ He grinned at her with a mischievous expression on his handsome face before pulling her behind him as he ran the rest of the way into the woods.
Once hidden among the pines and oak trees, Jack took her in his arms and kissed her. Pru had been longing for this moment since his departure weeks before and kissed him back, abandoning all thoughts of anything but being with him.
His hands moved over her body and he groaned, kissing her neck and finding her lips again with his own. ‘I love you so much, Pru. I wish we didn’t have to wait but I know we must.’
Must we, she thought. Was it so wrong to act on their want for each other? Did they really have to be sensible? Her pulse raced. ‘And I love you with all my heart, Jack. I wish we were married now and that you didn’t have to leave me ever again.’
He ran his hands down her arms and took her hands in his. ‘But we’re not, sweetheart and we both know I must leave again. And…’ He cleared his throat, looking more miserable than she could ever recall him being. ‘Today is going to be the last time we see each other for a while.’
Pru’s hand flew to her mouth but she was unable to stop a sob escaping. ‘Please don’t say that.’
He kissed her lightly. ‘I probably shouldn’t even have come here today. I only have a few hours before I have to go again. But I had to see you. Kiss you.’ He kissed her tears away. ‘I’d give anything not to have to leave you, but I’ll be on a boat to France by this evening.’ He pulled her tightly to him as she began to cry. ‘I’m so sorry to do this to you yet again, darling girl.’
