The beekeepers war, p.15
The Beekeeper's War, page 15
‘You don’t believe I will?’ He looked unsettled at her suggestion.
Pru held him closer, staring up at his shocked, handsome face, sensing that they might not have the future together they both craved. ‘No,’ she fibbed. ‘I believe you will. But what if you can’t, for some reason?’
‘Don’t say that, Pru.’
She could see she had hit a nerve. Had he been dreaming about their future and had she just burst that bubble? Pru hated herself for upsetting him but her instincts had unsettled her. ‘Jack, we’ve no idea how this war is going, or where you’ll be sent next. I believe I’ll see you again,’ she said, hoping her instincts were wrong and it was merely her dread induced by Milly’s unexpected death that had caused her to think in such a negative way. ‘But we don’t know what’s going to happen.’
He went to speak, but she put a finger against his lips to stop him. If she didn’t say what she needed to right now then she would lose her nerve and this was too important to her to risk that.
‘I love you, Jack, more than I ever imagined possible.’
‘Sweetheart.’
‘Please, I must say this while I have the courage. I know I’ve shocked you by what I’ve said, and I don’t mean to, but if the worst were to happen then I want to have no regrets. I want to know what it feels like to be loved by you.’
She felt his body tense and then slowly relax in her arms. Relieved, she calmed slightly as she waited for him to respond.
‘When?’ he asked, his voice husky.
‘Now?’
He stared at her silently and she sensed he was conflicted about how to answer. She was about to lose her nerve and tell him everything was fine as it was, that he didn’t have to do this if it worried him, when he spoke.
‘The folly,’ Jack said.
‘Sorry?’ Pru wasn’t sure she had heard him correctly.
‘There’s a folly not far from this garden. They used it for hunting parties before the war.’
Pru was stunned. She hadn’t ever seen a folly. ‘What about it?’
He moved his arms from behind his back and taking her hands in his, brought them forward. ‘If I’m to make love to you for the first time it’s going to be somewhere romantic.’ He smiled, sounding unsure of himself. ‘Or at least as romantic as I can make it in the circumstances.’
How typical of Jack to want to make things perfect. Pru relaxed, realising that his hesitation wasn’t because he didn’t want to love her but because he was frightened that it was the wrong thing for them to do. ‘The folly it is then. I’ve never seen a folly before,’ she said, thinking it was turning out to be a day of firsts.
He began leading her away, breaking into a jog. ‘I wish it was mine. Ours.’
‘It can be our special place,’ she said breathlessly as they exited the walled garden. They walked to a copse of trees that thinned out onto a hilly open area. Jack stopped and pointed towards what to Pru seemed like a cross between a doll’s house and a fairy-tale castle.
She gazed in awe at the beautiful round building with a domed roof and stone steps leading up from the grass. ‘It’s like nothing I’ve ever seen before.’ She stepped forward. ‘Are you sure we can go inside?’
‘It’s where Monty and I used to spend time away from the endless stream of guests that always seemed to be staying at the manor.’ He began walking again, leading her towards the unusual building. ‘We used to sneak into the kitchen and pack up enough food and drink to keep us going for the day – and if there was a larger house party and we were less likely to be missed, the night – and come here to talk and fish in the stream that’s out back.’
‘It sounds blissful.’ She tried to picture the men as boys, playing and having fun. Carefree, never imagining what lay ahead of them.
‘It was. I missed all of this when I returned each time to my folks in the States.’ He smiled. ‘It’s good to be back here, especially with you.’
Her pulse raced a little faster at the thought of why they were here.
‘Right, enough reminiscing,’ he said, leading her towards the folly. ‘I want to focus all my attention on you.’
They ran up the few steps leading to the round building and Jack shouldered the door, holding it open for her to step inside. ‘My queen.’ He grinned. ‘What do you think of your castle?’
She stared up at the ceiling, surprised to see a finely painted array of gold stars and colourful planets on a midnight-blue background. There was a small fireplace with a basket of logs next to it. A worn-looking sofa stood in front of it, in the middle of the circular room, with a rug on the floor between them. There was a small mahogany table with two chairs on either side in front of a curved window, and two fishing rods leaning against the wall behind the door as if he and Monty had only just spent time there.
‘Doesn’t anyone come here anymore?’
‘No. It’s very much Monty’s place. Or it was before he was injured. I’m not so sure what he’ll do about it now he can’t get here easily.’
‘It’s magical,’ she said honestly. ‘Thank you for bringing me here. I’ve never been in a place remotely like this one, and I can’t imagine I ever will again.’
‘You never know.’ He walked over to the fire. ‘Would you like me to light this? It’s a little chilly in here and it’ll warm the place up quickly.’
Pru loved the thought of making love by a roaring fire. ‘It’ll be just like our cottage that we’ve dreamt of living in after the war.’
Jack smiled and bent to kiss her. ‘I like that. As if we’ll be living our dream, if only for this afternoon.’
She watched while he set and lit the fire, stepping into his arms when he stood to watch it catch. ‘This is perfect, Jack.’
‘I’m glad.’
Her stomach flipped as he turned and took her face lightly in his hands.
‘Are you certain you want this, Pru?’ He kissed her lightly on her lips. ‘I’ll be happy for us to lie in each other’s arms in front of the fire if that’s what you’d rather do.’
‘No,’ she said, without a second’s hesitation. She couldn’t imagine a more perfect moment for them to make love for the first time. ‘I meant what I said.’
‘I want to so badly,’ he said, his voice gruff, ‘but I told myself we should wait. I still think we should.’
‘What?’ she asked, confused by his hesitation.
He gazed down at her. ‘Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to wait. I just feel guilty taking what we have to a more intimate level and then going away to France.’
‘I know you have a point,’ she said thoughtfully, ‘but since Milly died most things seem of little importance to me.’ She closed her eyes and took a calming breath. ‘Losing you, for whatever reason, and not having experienced being loved by you frightens me much more than anything else.’
She didn’t care that her cheeks were flaming at her admission until it occurred to her how forward she must sound to him. ‘Do I shock you by what I’m saying?’
He stared at her and she wasn’t sure if he was judging her or considering her words. He kissed her again. ‘How can I think badly of you when I want the same as you do?’
She slipped her arms around his waist and pressed herself against him, kissing his neck.
Jack groaned as he took her in his arms and lowered her to the rug.
Pru kissed Jack’s bare chest, her hand resting on his heart. She hadn’t expected their lovemaking to be so all-consuming.
‘Are you all right?’ he asked, stroking her hair, his voice tender. ‘You’re very quiet.’
‘I’m happier than I could ever dare hope to be.’ She shivered slightly despite the fire near to them. Jack pulled his coat from the sofa to cover her. ‘I love you so much, Jack.’
‘I love you too, my darling girl.’ He smoothed back her hair from her face and bending his head closer to hers pressed his lips against her hair. ‘I’ve wanted to do this for so long but never imagined it would happen before we were married.’
‘Do you mind that we didn’t wait?’ She hoped she hadn’t ruined his expectations of her. She heard a gentle laugh come from his throat and looked up into his navy-blue eyes.
‘What do you think? You’ve made me the happiest man alive, Pru Le Cuirot.’
Relieved to hear him say it, she mustered up the confidence to ask another question. ‘Do you think we’ll be able to do this again before you leave?’
She felt his laughter in his chest. ‘I certainly hope so.’
They lay in blissful contentment for a while longer, his muscular arms around her keeping her warm and feeling safer than she had ever felt before. Pru wished they could stay there for ever. ‘Wouldn’t it be perfect if this was our home?’
Jack cleared his throat. ‘I think we would miss having a bathroom and kitchen.’ She could hear the amusement in his voice. ‘Maybe a bedroom?’
‘Will you want to return to New York after the war, Jack?’ She knew she was risking ruining their moment but couldn’t stop herself from asking him.
He sighed. ‘I always thought I would, but that was before I fell in love with a girl from a small island just off the coast of France.’ He kissed her shoulder. ‘I’ll be happy living wherever you wish.’
She thought of the pretty beaches and headlands in Jersey and how much she wanted to show them to Jack. She had no idea what New York would be like and pictured a vast, bustling, noisy metropolis. ‘We could spend a year in Jersey and the next in the United States,’ she suggested dreamily. ‘Or the other way round, I don’t mind which.’
He put his hands under her arms and drew her up his body until her lips met his. ‘Let’s worry about that later, shall we? Right now, I need to show you how much I love you.’
‘Again?’ She giggled.
‘Yes, again.’
Eighteen
Pru
November 1917
Pru sat on her bed staring at Jack’s photograph, thinking back to lying naked on top of him by the fire and losing herself in his kiss. She would give anything to be in his arms again, or even to see him from a distance. He had been called back to his unit only two days after they had made love and as much as she hoped Doctor Parslow would insist he wasn’t ready, it wasn’t to be. Although Jack had promised to send word to her as soon as possible, it had been two months since he’d left and still she hadn’t heard anything from him. Pru was struggling to contain her panic.
‘Is anything the matter, Pru?’ Gladys asked joining her in their room. ‘You’re looking ever so peaky.’
Pru held up her photo of Jack. ‘It’s been two months now, Gladys.’
‘Well, that’s not so long, is it? Not with times being as they are.’ She unbuttoned her dress and stepped out of it.
‘I suppose not,’ Pru relented, a familiar ache in her heart. ‘I can’t… No, it’s nothing.’
Gladys slipped a hanger through the neck of her dress. ‘Go on. What’s wrong?’
Pru hoped she was overtired and giving in to her imagination. ‘I just can’t help worrying that something’s happened to him. I know I’m probably being silly.’
Gladys hooked the hanger on their small wardrobe door and sat on Pru’s bed next to her. ‘Look, I know it probably sounds odd coming from me,’ she said, not adding anything about her missing fiancé, whom no one had heard from since the start of the Battle of Loos. ‘But even I can see that Jack’s different to most men.’
Pru wasn’t sure what her friend was insinuating. ‘I … I don’t understand. Different in what way?’
Gladys shrugged. ‘Well, he’s tougher than most men I’ve ever met,’ she said thoughtfully. ‘I’m not sure what it is about him, but there’s a worldliness you don’t often come across. He gives me the feeling he can deal with anything life throws at him.’
If only that were true, Pru thought, hoping Gladys was right. ‘He does have a certain something,’ she said wistfully. ‘Maybe I’m overtired. I haven’t been sleeping too well lately.’
‘That’s the ticket. No point in getting yourself worked up about him if there’s no way of knowing where he is, or what he’s doing, is there?’
‘I suppose there isn’t.’ Pru realised she hadn’t asked after Gladys’s fiancé for a couple of weeks. ‘Still no news?’
‘Not a dicky bird. But, as my old mum likes to say, “No news is good news”. I know that’s probably not the case but it’s what I intend focusing on until I hear otherwise.’
‘Good for you, Gladys,’ Pru said, not sure if she could be as pragmatic as her roommate.
Gladys stood. ‘Right, I’m going to try and catch forty winks before my next shift.’
‘Thanks, Gladys. I appreciate you listening to me fretting. I feel a bit better now,’ she said, wishing that really was the case but aware that her friend had waited for over a year to hear anything from her fiancé so she had a long way to go until that point. ‘I’m going to try and go to bed earlier tonight and hope that helps a bit.’ She slipped Jack’s photo underneath her pillow and stood. ‘I’d better hurry or I’ll be late for my shift. Sleep well.’
She checked her hair was neat and hurried out of their room. As she walked quickly along the corridor towards the wards, terrifying scenarios about Jack’s whereabouts threaded through her mind, tormenting her. Unable to stand not knowing a moment longer, she decided enough time had elapsed since she had last questioned Monty. If anyone would know something it would be him. He loved Jack almost as much as she did, and she could tell he was worried too.
Typically, Matron was on the warpath. Something had upset her, that much was clear to the rest of them on duty. Pru would have to wait until Matron’s attention was taken before she dared chance approaching him.
‘Good morning, Monty,’ she said, eventually having found a quiet moment to approach him. She forced a smile. ‘How are you feeling today?’
He studied her face before replying. ‘Pretty much the same as you, I presume.’
‘I look that bad?’ she asked, recalling Gladys’s comment.
He sighed. ‘You’ll always be pretty, Pru, but you do look a little, how should I put it … washed out.’
‘Thanks,’ she said without smiling.
‘Worrying about Jack, I shouldn’t wonder?’
‘You, too?’
He sighed heavily. ‘I wish I could say I wasn’t but I’d be lying. I have this niggling feeling I can’t shift that something’s wrong.’
Pru’s was surprised. So, she wasn’t the only one. ‘Me, too.’ Nausea rose through her. ‘I’ve never been frightened for him before. Well, not like I am this time.’
Pru noticed a fleeting expression cross Monty’s face. If she had glanced away she would have missed it, but she hadn’t. ‘You know something, don’t you?’ she asked, moving closer to him and lowering her voice. ‘You must tell me, Monty. I need to know.’
He frowned, clearly conflicted. ‘Pru, you know it’s not allowed.’
‘Who’ve you been speaking to?’ She needed to know and had no intention of letting him keep any information to himself.
‘One of the men from our unit popped in to see me during visiting hours.’
‘And he told you confidential information?’ She was shocked but pleased she might be about to hear some news for herself.
‘I was their Squadron Commander, and Jack’s,’ he explained. ‘It’s precarious out there and we’re all close.’ He stared at his hands thoughtfully. ‘You can’t help but be when you face something your family couldn’t possibly understand.’
Pru could understand why. She bent forward. ‘Who’s going to know apart from you and me? I won’t tell a soul, but I need to know. Please, Monty.’
He gritted his teeth and seemed conflicted for a few seconds. ‘Fine. But I hope that includes not telling Jean, because if she thinks I’ve been instrumental in upsetting you she’ll kill me.’
Pru made a cross with her index finger across her chest. ‘Cross my heart.’
He scanned the room. ‘I’ll keep this brief because I don’t know much, but what I do know is…’ He grimaced. ‘Are you sure you’re ready to hear this?’ he whispered. ‘I can’t have you running off in hysterics and alerting the entire ward that I’ve upset you.’
Frustrated and furious with him for not telling her immediately, she glared at him. ‘I promise I’ll be the picture of calm. Now tell me before I do something we’ll both regret.’ It was an empty promise and they both knew it.
‘He’s been captured.’ He stared at her, gauging her reaction.
Her breath caught. Not wishing to give him an excuse to stop confiding in her, Pru cleared her throat, suspecting there was more. ‘Go on,’ she urged, her voice tight. She pressed a fingernail deep into the pad of her thumb, hoping the pain she was inflicting on herself was enough to keep her from passing out. ‘Tell me everything.’ Hearing Matron’s heavy footsteps, she quelled her panic. ‘Quickly, Monty.’ Before he had a chance to reply, she added. ‘Is he with any of his own men?’
He shook his head. ‘Maybe one other.’
‘Why, what happened?’
Monty seemed angry with himself suddenly. ‘When my plane was shot down and Jack landed and rescued me from German lines, we both knew it had been little more than a miracle that we survived his plane being shot down too. He wasn’t so lucky this time. A couple of the chaps witnessed one of ours with engine trouble. He had to land on enemy soil. They said his plane didn’t seem smashed up like mine was, so he probably wasn’t injured when he went down, but another saw Jack go down after him and land. Another later reported that he saw several Germans running for them. They don’t know what happened next but that’s why we presume they were captured. That’s all I know. Truly, Pru.’
‘He promised me he would be careful,’ she hissed. ‘Why does he take these chances, Monty?’
Monty stared at her and she sensed his guilt at Jack’s part in his rescue. ‘I don’t know, dear girl, but I can’t say I’m not glad he came back for me.’ He shook his head. ‘I just hope he hasn’t just run out of his ninth life.’
