I punch in the numbers and watch the gate slide back under the floodlights. The paddocks each side of the drive have quiet shadows of horses moving slowly in the dark.

  I park outside the stables and can see a light in the lounge of the cottage Fred lives in. I half expect him to come out and see who has arrived. But I guess he recognises my ute. Probably thinks I’ve come to check on Hunter and will call into the cottage afterwards.

  I study the main house. A bit of a glow is coming from the kitchen, but it doesn’t really look like anyone is downstairs. More like they’ve left a light on for when they get home.

  Milly’s car is parked near the gate, but Tom’s ute isn’t where he usually parks. Hopefully, he’s gone out. The light in Milly’s bedroom is on, but that’s pretty much the only light on in the house except for the kitchen one.

  Should I just go to the front door and knock?

  No, I’ll do what I did last time I visited her in the middle of the night. Throw bits of gravel at her window. It worked then.

  I scoop up a few pebbles off the driveway, and them crunch over to the gate. Make my way around house until I’m standing below Milly’s room.

  Here goes.

  I fire a small sharp-edged stone at the second storey window and hear the soft ping it makes on the glass.

  I wait.

  No sign of Milly.

  I give it a few seconds and then fire another one.

  This time I see her come over and peer out into the dark.

  I fire again.

  She pushes the window up and leans out. “Cole? What are you doing?”

  “I want to talk.”

  “We had all day to talk.” She sounds a little disgruntled.

  “But we didn’t. Do you want to come and check on Hunter?” I’ve never taken a girl I want to start something with to check on an injured horse before. But we can’t go for a ride because I killed one of her horses and maimed the other. I can’t think of anywhere we could go in the ute. Besides, for now, I just want to talk, and the stable is as good a place as any.

  She thinks for a moment and then nods. “I’ll come down.”

  It’s a couple of minutes before Milly opens the door. I’ve followed her progress through the house and down the stairs by the lights coming on.

  “Hi.” I shove my hands in my jeans’ pockets.

  “Hi.” At least she came down, so she must want to sort things too.

  Chapter 12

  Milly

  COLE AND I WANDER over to the stables. No one is around. Strange to see the place deserted. It’s only just dark because it’s summer, but it’s late. Everyone stopped work and went home hours ago.

  I knew after that kiss on Sunday night we couldn’t keep going the way we were. I think I’m finally going to find out what went wrong. Why Cole stopped calling me and where we’ll go from here.

  Funny that he threw pebbles at my window like he did two years ago. It’s romantic. Did he do it to remind me about our last night together?

  Or is it just something he does?

  It wasn’t necessary, he could have just knocked on the door. Cole must know Dad is out, so there was no chance of running into him.

  He unlatches the stable door and holds it open for me. As soon as we’re inside, I lean back against the door and tug on his hand, so we can be close.

  He looks at me with a wry grin and doesn’t move.

  “We’re meant to be talking.”

  I nod. Yes. We have things to sort out.

  We wander over to the loosebox.

  I lean against the door of the box and watch Hunter eating. Hunter looks up at us and then goes back to his dinner.

  “My poor horses,” I say to break the silence.

  “Yeah,” Cole stands sideways to the box, leans his elbow on the rail, studies Hunter then looks back at me and breathes out slowly, but doesn’t say anything.

  I fill in the silence again. “It’s strange being at home without Wildfire. And Hunter is so hurt.” I turn and look at him. He really is lovely looking. All dark smouldering eyes and straight black hair. I wasn’t imagining that when I was at school and would suddenly remember him.

  I should stop talking about the horses. I don’t want to conduct an inquest into what happened to Wildfire and Hunter. I want to find out what happened to us and why it didn’t feel comfortable to come home for two years.

  Cole nods. “But we’re doing our best to get him better.”

  “I know.” I turn and lean back on the rail so I can see Cole better.

  “Why did you stop calling me?” And I want to know why, when I finally think I’m over you and can act like I don’t care, you’re all fiery kisses, then distant, icy looks and pushing me away.

  He turns so he’s standing, elbows resting against the rail like I am.

  “You told me to.” He’s staring at the back wall now, not looking at me.

  “I what? I never did.” I lived for his calls and texts.

  “You did.” He’s still staring at the back wall. “You texted me and said, long distance is too hard, and we should both accept this is over and move on.”

  Now he turns again and leans on the railing facing Hunter still not looking at me.

  I shake my head. “No, I didn’t.”

  “You did.” He hauls out his phone, hits the message icon, swipes a few screens and holds the phone up so I can see it.

  And there’s a text from my phone saying, long distance is too hard and let’s move on. But I never sent it.

  “I didn’t send that, Cole.” There’s no way I can prove that. I’ve got my phone set so it deletes texts after three months. Either Cole doesn’t get enough texts to do that, or he’s saved that one.

  “If you didn’t, who did? It’s from your phone.” He sounds hurt and like he doesn’t believe me.

  I shrug. “I guess no one has their phone with them all the time. Someone else must have got hold of it.”

  “But you would have seen the text.”

  “Not if they deleted it.”

  Cole nods.

  I’m still not sure he believes me.

  “Why didn’t you call me so we could talk about it?” I ask.

  “I did a couple of times, but you never picked up.”

  Now I’m really puzzled. Why didn’t I get those calls? And if I missed them when he called, why didn’t I see them on missed calls? I haul out my phone. The call register isn’t likely to show them after two years. So, I go to contacts and bring up Cole’s name, then look at him devastated.

  “It’s blocked. Whoever sent you that text blocked your number as well. Fuck.” And I don’t swear. Two years wasted. Two years I could have come home. I’ve wasted them being angry with him.

  “Who would have done that?” he asks like he’s still having trouble believing me.

  “I don’t know. There were a few girls at school who’d think that was funny. When I got there all I could talk about was you. They must have decided to do it as a joke.”

  “Some joke.” Cole breathes out slowly. “Why didn’t you ever come home, or call me? We could have sorted it out.”

  “I was hurt, and then when I heard you were working for Dad, I couldn’t face it. So, I always arranged to go somewhere else for the holidays.”

  “Why didn’t you come and find me?” I ask.

  We could just put all this behind us and start again. I hope he’ll suggest that. There’s still that distance there.

  He breathes out slowly again. “When I get a breakup text, I figure the girl doesn’t want me around anymore, so I stay away.”

  Who wouldn’t want him around? He’s lovely. “Do you get a lot of break up texts?” I’m trying to lighten the mood.

  He gives a wry smile. “Only one. And it was hard on the ego.”

  “Oh.” He still sounds hurt.

  “Where do we stand now?” he asks. Still reserved.

  “Friends?” I say hesitantly because I’m still not sure he believes me about the text.

  “Friends?” Cole watches my eyes for a moment. Pippa says he and Amy are finished, and I’m not going out with anyone. I lean in closer, lips parted just a little, but he doesn’t kiss me.

  He nods. “Friends.” When did he get so cautious? “What were you doing last year?” he asks. “School finished for you a year ago.”

  “Gap year.”

  “What’s that?”

  “The year you take when you’ve finished school and muck around to give you time to decide what you want to do.”

  “Nice idea. What did you spend it doing?”

  “Riding, I stayed with some friends of Dad’s. They rode in the New Zealand team a few years ago. It was my job to exercise their horses. In exchange, they coached me.”

  “Is that what you want to do?”

  I look at him puzzled.

  He clarifies. “Ride for New Zealand?”

  “Yes, eventually.”

  “Is Tom going to get you a horse to replace Wildfire?”

  I nod. “He wants me to go and look at some horses he saw.”

  Dad thinks I should take three or four horses with me if I go to England to train like Mum wants me to. But I’m not going to tell Cole that. Especially now we are starting to talk again. I don’t want him to think I’m about to leave again.

  “Are you good enough to try out for the team?”

  “Maybe at the end of next year.” I sigh.

  “You’re that good?”

  “Getting there.”

  “You looked good when you were riding at the weekend, but you didn’t win,” Cole points out.

  “Everyone has their off days.” And there was a big Cole shaped distraction that day. “Mum keeps talking about how hard I’ll have to work, but really, I like riding. I don’t know if I want to turn it into hard work. We’ll see.”

  He links his fingers with mine. Does that mean we’re friends or more?

  “There’s something I want to ask you,” he says.

  “What?’

  “We’re playing at the pub in Hamilton Saturday night. Do you want to come? We’re all staying the night at Pippa’s.”

  I already knew that. “Does she have enough room?”

  “Isaac and I sleep on mattresses in the lounge.” I know that’s not always true. “When Jess is there, she does too.”

  “Where would I sleep?”

  “I’ll sort something out with Pippa. She’s got a spare room. Her flatmate moved out after exams.”

  I nod. “Amy.” Pippa said he spent a fair bit of time in Amy’s room. And now he knows I know.

  He lets my hand go.

  Maybe I shouldn’t have mentioned Amy. “Yes, I’ll come.”

  “We’d have to leave after lunch Saturday. We have to set up at the pub first.”

  “Okay. Will you pick me up?”

  “Yeah, I’ll work in the morning, go home, get my gear and then come back here to get you.”

  “That would be nice.” And just like that, I’m going to Hamilton with Cole for the weekend. But he’s acting like he’s a friend. Well, that’s what I asked for. But there isn’t a word for what I want. Boyfriend and girlfriend? Sounds silly. Lover’s? Sounds old. Hooking up. Sounds slutty.

  He pushes away from the rail. “I should go home. Got to work tomorrow.”

  Talk about an anti-climax. No kiss, just holding hands for a moment, and then he’s heading home.

  I shouldn’t have mentioned Amy.

  Still, we’re going to be together all weekend.

  When I get to my room, I see Jess has called me. I really should learn to keep that phone with me. As I call her back, I wonder who would have got hold of my phone and sent that text.

  It could have been any of them. They could have grabbed my phone before it shut down and sent the text then blocked Cole’s number. I can imagine the evil giggling as they did it. Bitches.

  If something like that happened now, I’d ring him and ask why he wasn’t calling me anymore. Or come home and confront him. But then I didn’t have that sort of confidence.

  And anyway, Pippa warned me he was the love them and leave them sort. I used to tease him about it.

  Then just when I think Cole and I have started to sort things out, Jess tells me about the bet and muddies the water again.

  Chapter 13

  Cole

  I GET TO THE STABLES EARLY, and luckily Gary and Ewan are saddled up and walking their horses over to the track. A couple of horses are making their way around already.

  I’ll keep this thing with Milly away from work and avoid any more of their shit. I’m getting it in the neck all the time from them just for spending so much time helping Milly with Hunter. Sucking up to the boss’s daughter is the way Gary and Ewan see it.

  I shut the ute door and head for Hunter’s stall before anyone notices me and decides to have a go and find Milly with Hunter. She must have been up at dawn because the straw has been changed and Hunter fed and watered.

  I lean against the gate and watch her with the horse. She strokes its cheek. I know how that feels. I remember how all of her feels.

  “Hey.” What was I thinking last night letting Luke’s stupid bet, and a couple of bruises stop me making love to her? She’d wanted it. And I’d wanted it more than anything. But she suggested friends, and I bloody agreed to it.

  Milly looks over at me. No smile. No happiness like I’d expected. Milly is always quiet and reserved, but after last night I thought she’d be as pleased to see me as I am to see her.

  “You’re taking over my job,” I say. Strange talking like this with the gate between us.

  The horse nuzzles her shoulder. “I needed to keep busy.” Then she goes quiet.

  “Hunter’s moving more,” I say eventually.

  She nods and wraps her arm around the horse’s head then rubs her cheek against the side of its nose. “He’s trying to make me feel better.”

  “Better?” I can’t figure out what’s going on.

  She bites the side of her lip “You do still like me, don’t you?” She sounds anxious. “That’s what last night was about? Wasn’t it?”

  I nod. “Yeah.” What can have upset her? Something must have happened after I left last night.

  “What’s wrong?” I watch as she gently rubs her cheek against Hunters.

  “Were you trying to win the bet last night? Jess says Luke started all that betting stuff again.”

  Fuck. I let a breath out slowly between my teeth. So that’s what’s wrong. Bloody Jess should mind her own business.

  Milly glances at me. “So, it’s true?”

  I nod. “It’s true about the bet.”

  “And turning up last night was you going for it?”

  “Going for it?” I try to see her face. “How?’

  She turns back to Hunter. “To seduce me?”

  “No, I told Luke no way.” Or did I? It’s what I meant anyway, even if I didn’t say it in so many words.

  And I was the one who’d put a stop to us doing anything. She’s all ‘kiss me again, Cole’, right after she chose the friends option. She always was bloody difficult. Always giving out mixed messages.

  “Don’t you like me, Cole?”

  “I really like you.” Jesus, she doesn’t have a lot of self-confidence considering the way she looks. “I like everything about you.” It feels uncomfortable. I don’t usually make declarations like that, but bloody hell.

  She puffs out a breath, then strokes Hunter and thinks about that for a while.

  I finally open the gate and go into the box. I tentatively touch her cheek. “Hey.” She turns a little to look at me. “I think you’re amazing.”

  Her eyes search mine doubtfully. I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. “Last night was about sorting things out. It wasn’t about any stupid bet.”

  I pull her a little closer, and after the initial resistance, she slides her arms around my waist and rests her head against my shoulder. I don’t usually have to work this bloody hard to keep a girl happy.

  I lift her chin and kiss her. I keep the kiss sweet and light and feel her relax into me. So much for keeping this away from work, going for the friend option, and trying to avoid shit from Gary and Ewan.

  Either she believes me or is reserving judgement. Or maybe Jess has told her I didn’t take the bet and this is Milly testing me.

  Still holding her, I rest my chin on the top of her head and keep telling her how much I like her. Trying to wipe away the doubt. We’ve wasted two years not trusting each other. I’m not going to let it happen again.

  Last night she’d agreed to spend the weekend with me in Hamilton, but I’m not sure she’ll still want that now.

  “Are we still on for the weekend?”

  Milly nods, then smiles hesitantly.

  So, she still wants to go, despite bloody Luke and Jess sticking their noses into our business.

  In the afternoon, Milly leads Hunter around the yard, his first gentle bit of exercise.

  “Come on, Hunter,” she says. “It’ll make you feel better.” The horse limps and moves slowly even with Milly encouraging him.

  To me, it looks like Hunter just wants to get back to the safety of the loosebox. “I’m not sure he believes you.”

  “This is what the vet said we had to do.” Hunter limps moving slowly and carefully, another few steps.

  Milly gives up and gently guides him back to the stable.

  The day rolls on. After Hunter is in his box, I do my usual work helping Fred with the racehorses.

  Ewan and Gary have a field day. The kiss in the barn didn’t go under the radar like I’d hoped it would. But Tom is away for a few days so at least I don’t have to deal with him hearing what Ewan and Gary are saying.

  Friday goes by pleasantly. I help Fred, spend some time helping Milly with Hunter and then she disappears somewhere, and I don’t see her for the rest of the day. But that doesn’t matter, I get to spend all weekend with her.

  Anyway, spending time with her at work just gives Ewan and Gary ammunition.

  Early Saturday afternoon, I pull up outside the Gaisford house and get out of the ute. Everyone works a half-day on Saturday like I do so it’s quiet and peaceful.

 

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